Tags: , , , , , , , , | Categories: The Science of Think by Chris on 3/11/2011 6:24 AM | Comments (0)


  I once heard someone say that there is some truth in all criticism. I’m not sure if that is completely true but I have found it to be true many times. Consequently, when I hear a criticism whether of someone else or even personally I generally reflect on it for a while searching for any truth there might be within it. The purpose of this exercise is to find ways to self improve.

  My mentor used to say, “We judge others by what they do and we judge ourselves by our good intentions”. From the moment I heard him say this I realized the truth of it. Over the years I found myself becoming increasingly curious as to the reasons why humans are this way. What is it about us that makes it so difficult to embrace something that ultimately removes frustration, isolation, separation and pain from our lives? The answer is Pride.

  It is pride, (the unhealthy selfish kind) that causes us to loose our objectivity. Being objective in this context means having the ability to step aside briefly in your thinking, long enough and far enough to see the larger truth about what is happening. This is actually much more difficult to do than it sounds. Pride tends to focus on self which is tat amount to tunnel vision. Our focus becomes so tight on the object of our pride, we loose sight of the larger world around us. This can create a situation where we are blind sided by something coming right at us but failed to see.

It is especially difficult to embrace an external criticism when delivered harshly by another.

  It takes a certain context and manner in which to provide a constructive criticism on both the part of the hearer and the teller. The trick I’ve found is to develop your own character to the point that you can take the basic premise of the above truism and apply it to your own life regardless of the situation and circumstances. In this way it will allow you to sort the truth from the negative intent of the criticizer and benefit from what is said no matter what.

  The ability to successfully translate criticism in this way can actually reveal a treasure trove of information that will benefit you in a variety of ways, and it’s all delivered to your “front door” so to speak, free of charge. Ultimately, nobody can tell you who you are or how much you’re worth. You get to decide that and you will often disagree with others on the answers to both of those questions.

  The important thing to remember is that the potential always exists when someone does make a criticism that there may be some truth in it. That is for you to decided. Embrace it and find out what truth there might be. Use it to make a change or modification and don’t worry about the messenger who delivered it.