"Self-improvement antithesizes self-indulgence..."
The antithesis of something is its exact or direct opposite. Black is the antithesis of white, right is the antithesis of wrong, up is the antithesis of down. One can observe in life many such examples. When it comes to personal behavior there is no exception. Indulging one's self only, seeking merely to gratify yourself, promoting only yourself, serving only yourself are acts of self-indulgence. These behaviors are contrasted by self sacrifice, giving of one's time and resources to others and a thought life that meditates on the care and concern of others that ultimately leads to acts of service toward others. Selfishness and self-indulgence is a common problem in modern culture.
I've observed a type of blindness that comes over individuals (sometimes referred to as denial) that prevents them from seeing this behavior in themselves. It's rather like the story of the king who has no clothes. Everyone around him knew he was naked except him. People will often not speak to someone who is like this because they themselves have learned, often painfully, that to bring the subject to their attention is to invite reprisal. So, those around such an individual choose rather to address the relationship on a superficial level and not seek a deeper more personal and meaningful relationship with that individual. Let's face it, it's just easier that way. And that is precisely why they choose to deal with the problem in that manner. Relating to and dealing with a selfish self absorbed human being is rather like meeting a she bear robbed of her cubs. My God, who in the world has time for that?
One cannot speak intelligently to them, reason with them, explain or help them. It actually is very very sad. I've known people like this in life and I've had to sit by and watch the beauty, creativity and value of such a person be wasted on one failed venture, effort and relationship after another.
It is very difficult to watch someone you know or care about pollute themselves habitually because they need genuine love, acceptance and help but are so self indulged they cannot see it and refuse to seek or accept help. It is often because they harbor fear and have become unwilling to address the issue or issues.
Continually sowing into a thing continually creates a harvest of that thing.
What one talks about gets bigger.
A continual griping brings a continual discouragement.
The chemically dependent person who habitually indulges themselves becomes a servant to the habit. The habit promises to serve but all it does is enslave. The alcohol and/or drugs demand more and more of the individual until there is nothing left but the drugs. The person we once knew is gone.
The sexually promiscuous person seeks to gratify themselves over and over and with different sex partners but they never achieve the results promised by the behavior. Instead, slowly over time they become enslaved to it.
Sex without love, faithfulness and permanent commitment gives an illusion of continuity in a relationship but is void of the required self-sacrificing component necessary to make true long lasting love work. While this habitual self-indulgence is in place the perpetrator cannot improve because the two are the antithesis of each other. One cannot have the room filled with darkness while simultaneously filled with light. One cannot go up while they are going down. To break the cycle a choice must be made.
We do others and oursleves a disservice by enabling self indulgent behavior. While it is understandably difficult to address this with someone you know or love I've always looked for creative ways to do so. A humble conversation and/or an act of service is a good example. Life is about growth and change. Sometimes growing is hard but if we are not growing then we are shrinking. There is no such thing as standing still.